Finding the Art of Slow Living … I now understand.

“In today’s rush, we all think too much, seek too much, want too much and forget about the joy of just being.” ~Eckhart Tolle

I really hate that I was forced to slow down. Hate is such a strong word, but I feel that it’s warranted! Slowing down, it's something that I should have done on my own. I should have been more mindful … In my mind I knew it. My body was trying to tell me that it knew. My mind for sure knew it ... but I chose to keep squeezing everything I could into a day … to be productive ... to have that calendar full … A month ago if you asked me about my day, I would have rambled off all of the things on my calendar … a full calendar meant that I was productive … it was a reminder that I was busy … all the things I had to do and probably would have been a bit irritated. There was never enough time in the day. 

But I have slowed down and so has time. I have noticed little things that I had forgotten. I am remembering not only myself, but the natural world around me, and how connected we really are.

What the world is experiencing is awful, but perhaps it is an awakening in another. What do you think?

It is what it is … but it will become what you make it

“The Masked Days … what will we make it?

Now isn’t that a true statement! 

How about a short visualization exercise? Set a timer for five minutes, close your eyes, and reflect on your happiest childhood memories … I’m only asking for 5 minutes … in that short time this is where I go:

I was born into a family of nature lovers, individuals who held a deeply rooted love of family, and an even deeper sense of the art of hard work … and being in nature. My happiest childhood memories are the times when we packed up our camping stuff and hit the road to the mountains. I knew it would be awesome as we would be able to freely play in the creek, and listen to the crickets and other wildlife sing their calls, and the hypnotic sound of the creek slowly “singing” us to sleep at night. 

In the quiet stillness of my mind, I float away to some mountain top and find sleep in the moment of closing my eyes and just being there. Oh the simplicity of just slowly enjoying and being grounded in what our Creator created all around us. Suddenly, I am once again a young girl lying on our handmade quilts with my siblings. We’d watch the leaves of a large poplar tree sway overhead, moving in front of the moon and casting long, shadows on the seemingly endless ripples of the river that flowed beside us. We’d adore the gurgling of the water as it washed over the polished rocks in the riverbed. The sound would slowly echo through our ears, and a sense of peaceful stillness would permeate our entire beings. Here, we had no responsibilities, and our attention is simply focused on being present with one another.

Maybe for you, the happiest childhood memories that come to mind revolve around a favorite holiday when friends or loved ones laughed together without distractions, or spending time with brothers and sisters talking about everything and nothing, growing closer to one another.

No matter the memories that come to mind, they undoubtedly had one thing in common—in those moments we (and those around us) were peaceful.

That’s the secret to intentional, or slow, living. When we practice patience with ourselves and others, and allow the busyness to fall away, we can feel the emotion that exists in every moment, and truly connect to the people and things around us.

As children we had the opportunity to practice slow living … it wasn’t called that, but it is really just that. When we are children we do not have the stress of our jobs, our social status, or providing for others weighing on our shoulders. Not only are our days free from most responsibility, but they are also free from most anxiety and most worry. I realize this is not every child, but it is true for most children.

As we age, we have a tendency to forget the purpose of living, instead allowing our days to be controlled by the frequent beeping of text and email alerts. We allow our souls to be turned away from spiritual clarity and light, believing instead that the more things we allow to fill our days, the better.

But the truth, is that the fulfillment we so desperately seek on our craziest days is not found in the countless distractions of the world around us, but in the innocence of our hearts … the stillness and presence that has dwelled within us since we were young.

Of course, I’m not recommending that you quit your job tomorrow, or forget all of your responsibilities, and craft some sort of reserved lifestyle for your days. I am suggesting that you re-evaluate where your priorities lie. You may have found in this pandemic that your life has become too fast-paced to truly connect with yourself and others. You can now take these small steps to rediscover what is really in the heart of your spiritual core — the part of you that knows the answers to life’s greatest mysteries do not lie in the stuff, but rather in the moments we are connected. I don’t know about you, but I am really missing the personal connections.

Living intentionally is an art, and is not something that we can achieve overnight. We can encourage relaxing the anxiety of our nervous systems, begin to avoid the people and things that take our time and energy without giving us anything in return, and create a life we love — a life that is full of peace and genuine joy. Right now is as good as any time to start, or revisit; don’t you think? Here are a few tips to consider to get you started:

Grounding … being connected to the earth.

What do you want in your life … for real?

What do you truly want from your life? If there were no restrictions like money or time, what would you want to do and with whom would you want to do it? Your sense of wisdom could lie in the answers to these questions, so trust the messages you receive.

Who are the people and what are the activities that you desire to willingly share your time and space with? There likely are those to whom you feel obligated as well. Notice how you feel when you think about these people and things, responding to your thoughts without judgment and being kind to yourself. I know this was hard at first for me, but it really is okay, and you’ll know once you have done so, as you will feel content that you’ve taken that step for yourself. Then, work on increasing the amount of time you spend doing what you love with those you love.

Little by little, you will find that you are able to take control of your life and live in a way that fulfills you, allowing you to practice intentional presence in all areas. You’re worth it, aren’t you?

Understand that busyness does not mean quality.

Answering all the emails in our inboxes while we sit at the dinner table is not going to mean anything to the people who mean the most to us. While many responsibilities are unavoidable, there is something to be said for committing to presence of mind, no matter how much we may struggle with feeling like we’re missing out on something that only our devices can tell us about. You’re really not missing anything, are you?

Decades ago, when professionals did not have cell phones or tablets, they somehow managed to complete all of their tasks and were considered by others as having contributed to society. Somewhere along the way, that idea was lost, and now we have high expectations for how quickly we can respond to all the commitments and how many we can successfully juggle at one time.

Understand that being busy does not make us successful or important; in fact, often, being too busy serves no purpose other than to distract us from our connections with the people that are nearest to us.

My person …

Find a place in your home where you can store your cell phone and other electronics upon entering the house. When our phones are out of reach, their existence will leave our minds … that voicemail, email or text message will be there when you get to it … and we can focus on being present with the people who are physically with us.

If you find that spending all your time at home without your phone is too difficult or not reasonable for your lifestyle, establish small blocks of time (five to ten minutes maximum) that you are allowed to check your phone before returning your attention to the present. This has worked really well for me; I have adapted this practice in other areas of my life. With this practice, you will find that your need to have these phone breaks will become less and less frequent. Trust me, it works!

Find quiet.

Our world is extremely noisy … there is no other way to describe it. Yet, we’ve become so accustomed to all the noise around us that we have seemingly become immune to noticing how this constant noise negatively impacts us mentally, physically and spiritually.

When was the last time you spent a moment in silence? It’s probably been quite some time, if you can even remember a moment free from noise at all. Our culture fuels fear around quiet, wanting to fill every moment with some variant of sound, so it’s important for us, as we pursue a quieter lifestyle, to create a space in our lives that is free from distractions … our own personal sanctuary.

Find a way to bring calm and quiet into your life, whether it comes through meditation, a stroll through the silence of nature, or a peaceful moment spent resting in bed before you close your eyes. Seeking peace will lead to a consistent commitment to quiet and allow you to grow in your understanding of what it means to be truly present.

Quiet … a piece of heaven on our back porch.

I’m not the little girl that’s laying on the quilts with my siblings by the river anymore. I have real responsibilities and accountabilities just like you do. But by committing to a practice of slow living, of practicing intention and presence in my days, I am helping her to continue to grow and thrive … truly living in the moment.

No matter your age or where you are on your journey, you can reclaim a piece of your innocent joy as well … the childhood version of yourself is still inside you, waiting for you to commit to their well-being. 

In this practice, I have truly found peace in my own sanctuary.

Much Love!